Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic’s Guide to Recognizing and Healing from Domestic Abuse

Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic’s Guide to Recognizing and Healing from Domestic Abuse

Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic’s Guide to Recognizing and Healing from Domestic Abuse

By Jenny duBay

In this book, Jenny duBay helps survivors of intimate partner violence identify their situation and begin to heal. With empathy and compassion, she covers such topics as what domestic abuse is, the trauma of sexual assault and coercion, verbal attacks and isolation, and the evils of manipulative control within intimate relationships. She also discusses details on what the Catholic Church teaches about personal dignity, sacramental marriages, and the nature of domestic abuse. Jenny reveals the impact intimate abuse has on targets, providing practical and Christ-centered ways heal—no matter where a survivor may be on her journey.  

For those who have had to leave their relationships, Jenny discusses the annulment process and what it truly means—including the immense healing it can provide. For individuals who hope reconciliation can happen, she thoroughly and compassionately discusses the possibility of abusers changing their ways, helping readers determine what authentic repentance looks like—and when so-called repentance is just another abuse tactic. Whether you’re still married or have had to separate yourself from a toxic relationship, Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns helps you navigate trauma while providing resources and gentle guidance toward Christ-centered healing and empowerment of our true self, as God created you to be.

Paperback: $19.95 | Kindle: $9.99

 

TESTIMONIALS

“The Catechism observes that God’s original plan for marriage has been ‘seriously disturbed’ by sin (1608).  As a result, man and woman’s ‘mutual attraction, the Creator’s own gift, changed into a relationship of domination and lust’ (1607).  In Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic’s Guide to Recognizing and Healing from Domestic Abuse, Jenny duBay compassionately discusses the true nature of marriage while providing resources and hope for those who aren’t experiencing authentic companionship in their relationships. Drawing from the Catechism, the Theology of the Body, and various other trusted Catholic resources, Jenny opens the way to genuine healing for those seeking freedom from abusive relationships.” – Christopher West, Th.D., best-selling author, popular podcaster, and President, Theology of the Body Institute

“Jenny duBay has written a marvelous book, Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among the Thorns, that covers the topic of intimate partner abuse thoroughly and sensitively. As a survivor herself, she understands its deceitful trap, its traumatic impact as well as the courageous steps necessary to escape it. Significantly, her book addresses the problem from the point of view of the Christian faith. Jenny duBay plumbs the meaning of scripture and helps victims and survivors connect their faith with the evil they have experienced. She emphasizes the need for spiritual healing and guides the wounded along pathways to a new and regenerated life. Her book should be required reading for all parish ministers.” – Fr. Charles W. Dahm, O.P., Director of Archdiocese of Chicago Domestic Violence Outreach, from the “Foreword”

“With candor and conciseness, Jenny duBay has written a book that brings clarity and practical wisdom for men and women who may find themselves stuck in the suffocating cycle of domestic abuse. I am certain that this compendium of insight into abuse, the Church’s teachings on marriage, and steps to escape such physical and mental violence will assist many in pursuing the respite they desperately need and in a manner that corresponds with the Church’s longstanding wisdom.” -Angela Erickson, host of the Integrated with Angela podcast

“In a caring and heartfelt manner, Jenny duBay has gifted us with a comprehensive book about intimate partner violence, from a Catholic perspective. She provides practical information and describes ways to recognize an unhealthy relationship and journey to a space of hope and healing for all harmed or who cause harm in this way. Also, it is a must-read for all those accompanying people on their path to live a safe and sacred life free of violence.” – Sharon O’Brien, Ph.D., Co-Founder and Executive Director of Catholics for Family Peace, Initiative of National Institute for the Family

“In ministry, we encounter women daily who are living in marriages characterized by manipulation, blame, coercion, denial and other forms of violence – emotional and spiritual as well as physical or sexual violence. These abusive experiences are a profound violation of our human dignity!  Intimate partner violence leaves women feeling confused, alone, filled with despair and even suicidal. We are grateful to Jenny duBay for writing this book. With a solidly Catholic voice, Jenny addresses the oft-underemphasized reality of domestic violence and spousal abuse within Catholic marriages. The truth, clarity and practical advice contained in this book make it an invaluable resource for those enduring such trauma, and for those of us walking alongside of God’s wounded daughters.” – De Yarrison, CPCC, foundress of You Are Made New Ministry and Laura Ercolino, foundress of Hope’s Garden

“Jenny duBay’s Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic’s Guide to Recognizing and Healing from Domestic Abuse is not simply a book, but a lifeline for those seeking healing, understanding, and hope in the context of the Catholic Faith. Throughout this work the author’s wisdom and empathy shine through each page, which results in the illumination of a definitive path towards the reclaiming of one’s dignity and becoming a survivor of abuse, especially abuse within the institution of marriage.” – Christina M. Sorrentino, author of Belonging to Christ: Catholic Poetry and contributor to Missio Dei’s book, The Eucharistic Revival Project

“Should Catholics stay in an abusive relationship? Jenny duBay answers this question with such clarity and heart in her book Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns. Comprehensive, practical and healing, this book is a must-read for anyone suffering from an abusive relationship. Coming from an expert and survivor of domestic abuse, the author will guide you as you seek to understand, forgive, move on and heal from the trauma of abuse. There is hope and healing even when all else seems lost.” – Jocelyn Soriano, author of various self-help and Catholic books including Mend My Broken Heart and 366 Days of Compassion, book reviewer, and writer of the Patheos column “Beloved”

“Jenny duBay is an author who writes with a deep understanding of God’s mercy, through which she hopes to communicate God’s love to others. She has a particular calling to provide healing to those who have suffered from domestic violence, and a desire to provide hope to those who feel forsaken. For any who are seeking inspiration or direction from the brokenness of life, I whole-heartedly endorse her writings. In her word’s, God’s love is waiting for you.” – Michael Snellen, founder of I AM Catholic and Catholic Creators

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jenny duBay is an ICF-accredited trauma-informed Catholic life coach, certified Deconstructing Gaslighting Specialist (C-DGS), a certified narcissistic abuse specialist, and earned her B.A. in Catholic Theology from Holy Apostles College & Seminary and Catholic Distance University. In addition to her coaching ministry, Jenny is the foundress of Create Soul Space, a website designed to help cultivate awareness of domestic violence within a Catholic setting. Jenny is the domestic violence support group facilitator at Hope’s Garden, is associated with Catholics for Family Peace and works with various organizations within the Church to support survivors of domestic violence. Author of the Create Soul Space and Prodigal Parishioner blogs, Jenny also writes for Missio Dei along with various other Catholic publications including Dan Burke’s SpiritualDirection.comAleteia, and more. Her articles have been featured on the Catholic Education Resource Center and several have been awarded “Best of Catholic Blogging” by National Catholic Register. Her mission is to accompany Catholic women who have experienced domestic abuse or betrayal trauma so they can find healing, gain clarity and understanding, and reclaim their true selves. Her main website is https://jennydubay.com 

(Photo credit: Brian Strickland)

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These foundational principles were written with the intention of delineating how to be a faithful, healthy, charitable, and truthful disciple of Jesus. Each one is intended to be understood in relationship with the other principles from the perspective of our life of faith as each bead in a decade of the rosary is to be prayed in relationship to the other beads from the perspective of a mystery of faith. Practicing them is like putting “on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” (Ephesians 6:10-11)

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TESTIMONIALS

“Fr. Peter Samuel Kucer, MSA, has produced quite a grand opus in his collection of works on Marian Devotion, Catholic Church History, East and South East Asian History, Catholic Apologetics, Protology and the Priesthood, Western Civilization, Political Science, and now foundational principles on discipleship. Each of his books provides wisdom for the beginner and clarity for the educated.” – Dr. Sebastian Mahfood, OP, Professor of Interdisciplinary Studies, Holy Apostles College & Seminary

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Very Rev. Peter Samuel Kucer, MSA, STD is President-Rector at Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Cromwell, CT. He received degrees from Middlebury College, Holy Apostles College and Seminary, the Dominican House of Studies, and the Catholic University of America. He is intent on putting his educational background at the service of the New Evangelization promoted by the recent popes.

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Dealing Effectively with Domestic Abuse: The Ministry of Reconciliation and Healing

By Sr. Adaku Helen Ogbuji, CCVI, PhD

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Eph 5:25).

This work examines the different faces of violence in our society and how a woman’s body is sometimes treated as an object to be used. When one gender dominates and oppresses another, then the system needs to change. Following this line of argument, the African patriarchal society needs transformation.

Many women have suffered abuse at home and in society. Often removed from decisions that affect them, these women live with false stories of violence at home, suffering psychological, sexual, physical, cultural, and economic abuse. Through the grace of God, the reconciliation process starts with the victim of violence. However, the Church must create certain local conditions before reconciliation can take place, including interpreting and using specific gospel passages that refute domestic abuse, emphasizing the recent documents of the Church that promote the dignity of women and family life values, and forming parish support groups to allow victims of abuse to experience healing through rituals, prayers, the sharing of stories, seminars, and workshops.

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TESTIMONIALS

“Lost in the political and economic challenges/upheavals and violence that threaten society at the national and global scenes, most people seldom look down and around them to perceive a worse crime that scourge humanity – Domestic Violence. Sr. Helen Ogbuji in her beautifully and lucidly articulated book draws our attention to the ravages of this monster that dwells among us. Dealing Effectively with Domestic Abuse very importantly is largely a fruit of the author’s ministerial experience that does not end at exposing the cruelty of Domestic Abuse in Africa but proffers universally praxis-based solutions. The application of the theological concept of reconciliation is uniquely ad rem. The thrust that genuine reconciliation precedes true healing is empowering to abused persons and transforming to the social structures that bolster violence. Dealing Effectively with Domestic Abuse is a handy tool for all in ministry, both ordained and non-ordained. It is a ‘must read‘ for all men and women in relationships especially those facing abuse in their relationships. As an advocate of empowerment and emancipation of abused persons, I found the book enriching.” – Rev. Fr. Dr. Henry Ogbuji, author of From Where Shall Come Our Help? The Lament of Abused Persons

“Violence in our society is the antithesis of what it means to be human, and to live like one. Sr. Adaku, in this well-researched and finely articulated book, adds to the moral voice of awareness, caution, and solution. I do recommend this book to those who seek enlightenment and desire to stop domestic violence.” — Rev. Udo Ogbuji, author of The Peace I Know

“Sr. Adaku’s work in this text is a testimony of hope and compassion. Grounded in faith, she believes in the power of the Risen Christ to undo all the wrongs of violence inflicted on the innocent. The book seeks to be a concrete expression of God’s love directed towards those most in need of healing from domestic violence.” – Sr. Collen Mary Mallon, OP, PhD

“This book is appropriate for families who are finding it difficult to come out from their debased life of hatred, violence, and unforgiving heart… It is valid for formators, educators, and those who journey with the vulnerable people as it offers relevant perspectives for an approach to interpreting the domestic life situation in general and the steps to move towards healing and reconciliation. I recommend this book to everyone because we all come from families.” – Sr. Dr. Elizabeth Ngozi Okpalaenwe, MSHR

“A refreshing and reshaping text. Sister Helen invites carefully but energetically to compassionate relations among Christians–the core of our faith: forgive as you breathe. Must read for all concerned leaders.” – Rev. Dr. Emmanuel Foro, SJ

ABOUT THE EDITOR

Sister Adaku Helen (Helena) Ogbuji, CCVI, PhD, belongs to the Congregation of the Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word, Houston, Texas. She is an author of several books: Dealing Effectively with Domestic Abuse: The Ministry of Reconciliation and Healing; Influence of Childhood Experiences on Faith Development: A Journey Towards Wholeness; Out of the Lips of Infants, Wisdom Comes: Retelling the Bible Stories. Recently, she edited and co-authored Incarnational Spirituality: Embodying the Love of the Incarnate Word. She holds a master’s in Theology, Divinity and Psychology and a PhD in Counseling Psychology. Presently, she is the Formation Director and the Novice Director in their formation house in St. Louis, Missouri, USA.

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The Second Edition of Raising Kids with a Healthy Body Image: A Guide for Catholic Parents

by Dr. John C. Acquaviva

Improving your Kids’ Body Image through Catholic Teaching: How Theology of the Body and Other Church Teachings Can Transform your Life is the unique approach to the body image crisis that impacts many children. From a young age, our kids are under immense pressure from a variety of sources that can determine the value of their bodies. But God has something to say about this as well. Saint John Paul II’s wonderful teaching known as Theology of the Body is the book’s guiding force. Along with Scripture and the Church’s Sacraments, this book is an excellent parenting tool to guide your child so they see the worth of their bodies as designed by our Creator. In addition, this book discusses the numerous causes of a poor body image and includes chapters on how to instill fitness and sound nutrition into your family life.

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INTERVIEWS

REVIEWS

News on the Book:

SueAnn Howell, “St. Matthew parishioner pens guide for Catholic parents on raising kids with a healthy body image,”

Videos about how Photoshopping works (from page 36)

About the Author’s Radio Program, now on Carolina Catholic Radio

Faith and Sport (click here for the Radio Maria archives) is a show that is fueled by The Office of Church and Sport, a council for the laity created by Pope John Paul II due to the significance of sport in our culture. The show mirrors contemporary sports talk, but includes dialogue regarding morality, character and ethics as it relates to the actions and comments made by athletes, administrators, officials, coaches, and fans at every level. Joined in studio by radio veteran Ed Billick, professor of Sport Sciences John Acquaviva (Wingate University) will discuss current issues in sport, and have conversations with former/current players and coaches as well those who teach and write about sport and spirituality.  Listeners will have the opportunity to call in, text or email during show to make comments or ask questions. Now, in partnership with Carolina Catholic Radio, WCAT Radio brings you the following playlist:

TESTIMONIALS

“Building upon the timeless teachings of the Church, edified by saints and scripture, and penned from a practical parent’s perspective, Improving your Kids’ Body Image through Catholic Teaching is a great tool to help you raise happy, healthy and holy children. John C. Acquaviva takes on challenging topics with compassion and candor in a faith-filled yet totally accessible way. Stop shying away from the tough yet essential conversations and serve your family with an equipped and inspired perspective!”  – Lisa M. Hendey, Founder of CatholicMom.com and author of The Grace of Yes

“Rooted in the Truth of the Catholic Church, this inspiring book offers everything parents need to help their children become the body-confident people God created them to be. Using Saint Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, Scripture, and the teaching of the Church, this must-read will help you and your child navigate the minefield of body image pitfalls our culture perpetuates to rediscover the God’s purpose for their bodies–to glorify Him. Spiritual and practical, this edifying book belongs on every parent’s bookshelf.” – Kate Wicker, Journalist & Speaker Author of Weightless: Making Peace With Your Body

“There is an epidemic of distorted body image fed by popular culture and causing great distress among far too many of our sons and daughters. Dr. John Acquaviva delivers it a devastating one-two punch in his masterful melding of the findings of modern science with the timeless wisdom of the Catholic Church on the true dignity and importance of the human body in harmony with the soul. Every Catholic parent should read, re-read, and put to use Improving your Kids’ Body Image through Catholic Teaching. Indeed, every parent — period.” – Kevin Vost, Psy.D., author of Fit for Eternal Life and Memorize the Mass!

As a model and actor who travels speaking about his Catholic faith I am intimately familiar with the destructive lie the media feeds us daily about body image and the meaning the life. This book is a must-read for anyone raising children or those simply seeking to better understand how to navigate through this physically and spiritually dangerous culture war we find ourselves in. – Mario St. Francis Herrera, Model & Actor turned Lay Catholic Evangelist

Improving your Kids’ Body Image through Catholic Teaching is a book all parents need, whether they are Catholic or not. John C. Acquaviva goes right to the heart of the issues that can plague a young person with despair because of a negative body image. In a conversational tone, he sets us back on track with Catholic teaching and shows how to appreciate our bodies as the gifts that they are.” – Dr. Stacy Trasancos, Chair of the Science Department, Kolbe Academy

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

John holds a PhD in exercise science and is a professor at Wingate University.

His courses include Anatomy & Physiology, Strength & Conditioning, Sports Nutrition, Exercise Physiology, and Weight Loss, Weight Gain & Body Image.

Over the years, he has given hundreds of presentations to fitness professionals, prospective teachers, and Catholic Church adult congregations, youth groups, and campus ministries.

His other book, Improving Your Body Image Through Catholic Teaching, is currently available on Amazon.

Dr. Acquaviva resides in Matthews, NC, with his wife Alecia and three children, Clare, Luke and Abigail.

 

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Missionary Priests in the Homeland: Our Call to Receive

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The Art of Listening to Young People: A Pastoral and Scientific Guide

The Art of Listening to Young People: A Pastoral and Scientific Guide

The Art of Listening to Young People: A Pastoral and Scientific Guide

by Amoris Christi

Listening is a form of encounter that allows us to be with another person, to see through their eyes, and to journey with them. The Art of Listening to Young People uniquely blends extensive scientific research with pastoral experience and theology to provide guidance and inspiration for youth ministers, spiritual directors, formation advisors, therapists, and anyone else who desires to better accompany young people today.

Paperback: $14.95 | Kindle: $9.99

 

TESTIMONIALS

“The book’s cogent presentation of the importance of listening to the young, as an essential way of accompanying and leading them, manifests an attentive response to Pope Francis’s reflections on the education of children, where he says: ‘The real question, then, is … where [our children] are existentially, where they stand in terms of their convictions, goals, desires and dreams. The questions I would put to parents are these: ‘Do we seek to understand ‘where’ our children really are in their journey? Where is their soul, do we really know? And above all, do we want to know?” (Amoris Laetitia, 261; citing General Audience Catechesis, May 20, 2015)'” – Cardinal Christophe Pierre, Apostolic Nuncio

The Art of Listening to Young People is an integrated contribution, confidently grounded in the complementarity of faith and reason, which unites authentic Christian principles with astute practical wisdom, supported by scientific research. This work gives a refreshing perspective on encountering young people with compassion and clarity – committed to receiving another as a human person with dignity and facing the challenges of the times with the Gospel imperative to “Be not afraid!” For anyone ministering to young people, this piece serves as a most valuable guide in navigating the shadows of today’s culture with the bright light of truth and Christian charity – a most important topic for this age of the Church. It’s a deeply beneficial and encouraging read!” – Monsignor James P. Shea, President, The University of Mary

“‘I hear you.’ How often does this expression mask the reality that we have heard words with our ears but have not really listened to the person in front of us? The Art of Listening to Young People calls all who are called to accompany young people to understand them better and truly listen to what they are saying. Drawing from psychology and the social sciences as well as from great leaders of the Catholic tradition, the authors call us to care enough to make sure that it is obvious to young people that we are truly listening to them. While there are skills to learn, we are not presented with a recipe, but with good advice for improving in what is truly an art, as the title says. Thanks to Amoris Christi, a program that is expert in working with young people, for producing this great work.” Fr. Alfredo I. Hernández, Rector/President, St. Vincent de Paul Regional Seminary, author of Formation Activities and Catholic Seminarians

“The book The Art of Listening to Young People is a profound helping hand and resource book for those who wish to accompany young people in one-on-one settings like mentoring, formation, spiritual direction or counseling.” – Bishop Joy Alappatt, St. Thomas Syro-Malabar Eparchy of Chicago 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Amoris Christi is a Catholic, nonprofit organization devoted to the formation of Christian leaders, based in Delray Beach, FL. It is an affiliate of Jesus Youth, which is an international Catholic movement of pontifical right. This book was authored by Amoris Christi’s multidisciplinary research wing, the Institute for Excellence.

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Handbook for Catholic Religious by Fr. Bevil Bramwell, OMI

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Handbook for Catholic Religious

by Fr. Bevil Bramwell, OMI

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Paperback: $19.95 | Kindle: $9.99

TESTIMONIALS

“Fr. Bramwell’s expression of the intensity and beauty of religious life is an inspiration to all the faithful, strengthening their love and giving them hope for joyful and eternal communion with the Triune God.” – Dr. Cynthia Toolin-Wilson, author of Survivor: A Memoir of Forgiveness

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Fr. Bevil Bramwell, OMI, has been a professor and spiritual director in high schools, research schools, seminaries, and universities. He received his UEd and BSc from the University of Natal in South Africa; an S.T.B. from the Gregorian University in Rome; an STL from the Weston Jesuit School of Theology; and his PhD from Boston College. Father speaks English, French, Italian, and Afrikaans fluently, while being able to read and speak less fluently German, Spanish, Dutch, Latin, and Greek. Many groups including his own community, the Oblates of Mary Immaculate, as well as the National Catholic Education Association have invited his presentations and lectures. His publications include an undergraduate textbook on the theology of the sacraments, book reviews, and numerous articles for technical spiritual journals as well as the pastoral periodicals: Priest; Homiletic and Pastoral Review. Fr. Bramwell has published Laity: Beautiful, Good and True: Hans Urs von Balthasar’s Theology of the Laity, The World of the Sacraments, and The Catholic Priesthood: A 360 Degree View.

 

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