The Art of Accompaniment: Practical Steps for the Pastoral Mentor

by Sister Marysia Weber, RSM, DO, MA

CONTENTS OF THIS BOOK

Chapter 1 introduces the vocational synthesis stage of priestly formation, focusing on the role of the parish pastor as the primary formator (mentor) of transitional deacons. It examines the nature of the formative relationship between mentor and deacon, particularly addressing the crucial distinction between internal and external forum communication. The chapter emphasizes that while respecting the internal forum’s sanctity, meaningful formation requires appropriate transparency and trust in the external forum, allowing mentors to effectively evaluate a deacon’s readiness for priesthood.

Chapter 2 provides a framework for pastoral mentorship in the vocational synthesis stage, focusing on the practical and spiritual aspects of accompanying transitional deacons. Drawing from Church documents and Jesus’s model of formation, it outlines specific guidance for mentors on creating effective formation environments, establishing relationships, and coordinating with parish staff. The chapter bridges theoretical understanding with practical implementation, offering detailed instructions for day-to-day mentoring while maintaining focus on the ultimate goal of preparing deacons for priesthood.

Chapter 3 provides a framework for effective formative dialogue between mentors and transitional deacons. It explores six essential communication skills: reflective listening, open-ended questions, mirroring, summarizing responses, empathy, and affirmation. The chapter addresses the psychological dynamics of ambivalence and resistance in formation meetings and concludes with a detailed practical scenario demonstrating the application of these skills in a realistic mentoring situation.

Chapter 4 examines the crucial dynamics of transference and countertransference in the context of priestly formation and ministry. It distinguishes between therapeutic and pastoral relationships, explores the unique challenges of dual relationships in parish ministry, and provides practical guidelines for managing these psychological dynamics. The chapter emphasizes the distinct nature of priestly ministry compared to therapeutic relationships, particularly focusing on how priests must navigate multiple roles while maintaining appropriate boundaries in pastoral relationships.

Chapter 5 examines the crucial concept of affective maturity in priestly formation, particularly during the vocational synthesis stage. It builds on Saint John Paul II’s theological anthropology, especially his work on Person and Act, to explain how affective maturity develops through the integration of emotions, cognition, and willed actions. The chapter presents a comprehensive framework for understanding affective maturity’s development through three stages: self-knowledge, self-possession, and self-gift. 

Chapter 6 presents the Church’s benchmarks for evaluating process in formation, offering these not merely as assessment tools but as living markers embodying the Church’s understanding of formation as a unified journey of discipleship toward priesthood.  A template is also provided for the mentor’s use when ready to offer a narrative summary of each transitional deacon’s integration of formation.

TESTIMONIALS

“This edition of The Art of Accompaniment arrives at a critical moment in the Church’s ongoing renewal of priestly formation. As we implement the vision of the new Ratio Fundamentalis and Program of Priestly Formation (6th edition), formators need both theological depth and practical guidance. Sister Marysia provides a framework that integrates the four dimensions of formation while remaining deeply practical.” – from the Foreword, authored by the Most Rev. Andrew H. Cozzens, Bishop of Crookston

“The art of accompaniment finds its deepest expression in the vocational synthesis stage, where formators are called to guide transitional deacons in becoming shepherds with the smell of the sheep, who are deeply in love with Christ and ready to bring His mercy to His people. Sister Marysia’s work beautifully captures this vision, showing how genuine accompaniment flows from the formator’s own intimate relationship with Christ and commitment to ongoing conversion. Her emphasis on affective maturity as the foundation for authentic pastoral relationships speaks directly to our mission of forming missionary disciples. Drawing especially from Pastores Dabo Vobis, the Ratio Fundamentalis, and Program for Priestly Formation (6th ed.), this work provides formators with both the theological framework and practical tools needed for authentic accompaniment. Having served in seminary formation for many years, I particularly appreciate how Sister Marysia emphasizes the parish as a vital community of formation where pastoral mentors and staff collaborate in forming priests who can serve effectively in our contemporary world. This book will prove invaluable for those entrusted with forming shepherds after the Heart of Christ.” – Bishop David Toups, Bishop of the Diocese of Beaumont, Texas

“In the Gospel of John, we witness St. Andrew’s profound example of leading others to Christ – a model of missionary discipleship that resonates deeply with the vision presented in this edition of The Art of Accompaniment. This masterful work illuminates the sacred journey of vocational synthesis, where the pastoral mentor, like Andrew, helps transitional deacons integrate their friendship with Christ into authentic pastoral charity. Sister Marysia has crafted an invaluable resource that beautifully reflects the Church’s program of formation while offering practical guidance for those charged with forming tomorrow’s priests. The book’s emphasis on integral formation and affective maturity provides concrete tools for helping candidates discover and embrace their priestly identity as spiritual husbands and fathers who will, in turn, lead others to friendship with God.” – Bishop Christopher Cooke, Auxiliary Bishop of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia

“In his great work The Wellspring of Worship, the theologian Fr. Jean Corbon teaches us “that the most fruitful human activity is to receive God.” In her contemporary masterpiece The Art of Accompaniment, Sr. Marysia Weber, R.S.M., shows us how to cultivate and strengthen our abilities and a heartfelt readiness to be more receptive to the transforming power of Jesus’ Spirit. Evangelization in the parish and beyond is made immensely fruitful by appropriating their wisdom.” – Fr. John Horn, S.J., Co-Founder of the Seminary Formation Council and the Institute for Priestly Formation, Faculty for Pastoral Theology at St. Vincent DePaul Seminary, FL

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sr. Marysia Weber, RSM, DO, MA

Sister Marysia Weber is a Religious Sister of Mercy of Alma, MI.  She is a physician, certified by the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology.  She completed her residency and fellowship at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN.  She received the Howard P. Rome, MD Writing and Clinical Research Award-Mayo Clinic, Department of Psychiatry and Psychology. She holds a master’s degree in theology from Notre Dame, South Bend, Indiana.  She practiced psychiatry at her religious institute’s multidisciplinary medical clinic, Sacred Heart Mercy Health Care Center in Alma, MI from 1988-2014. She has served as a psychological expert consultant for the Secretariat of Clergy, Consecrated Life and Vocations, USCCB.  She became the Director of the Office of Consecrated Life for the Archdiocese of Saint Louis in 2014. She served as facilitator for Rachel’s Vineyard, and as an executive board member of the Saint Louis Guild Catholic Medical Association. She served on the Archdiocesan Pastoral Council, Review Board and Safe Environment Board. She also served as Clinical Instructor in the Department of Psychiatry at Washington University School of Medicine in Saint Louis, Missouri. She continues her work as chair of the board of directors of MyCatholicDoctor and with the Seminary Formation Council forming seminary formators in the Art of Accompaniment. She was recently missioned to Tulsa, OK and serves as vice president of mission and ministry and co-chair of the ethics committee for Saint Francis Health System.

Dr. Weber offers workshops on a variety of topics including human attachment, boundaries and character development, depression and anxiety, dialogue and conflict resolution, as well as on social media and its effects on the brain for clergy, seminarians, women’s and men’s religious communities, parents, teachers and students. She presents on Internet pornography addiction—a Catholic approach to treatment to bishops, clergy, seminarians, religious communities, and laity throughout the United States and Europe. She presented to the U.S. Bishops in Dallas TX in 1992 on “Pedophilia and Other Addictions”.  She was a member of the USCCB Ad Hoc Committee on Sexual Abuse in 1994-1995.  Dr. Weber has presented to the Curia, Vatican City State on “Sexual Abuse of Minors by Clergy in North America” in 2002.

Dr Weber has published a second edition of her book: The Art of Accompaniment: Practical Steps for the Seminary Formator which incorporates aspects of the transformational focus of the Program for Priestly Formation, 6th edition (https://enroutebooksandmedia.com/artofaccompaniment/

Her book Screen Addiction: Why You Can’t Put that Phone Down now also available in Spanish (https://enroutebooksandmedia.com/screenaddiction/) describes how excess screen time alters the brain and offers many practicals to address these effects.  

She also has two chapters in Spiritual Husband-Spiritual Fathers: Priestly Formation for the 21st Century including: “Guideposts for the Seminary Formator in Understanding and Assessing Levels of Preoccupation with Use of Internet Pornography and a Formative Process for Moving from Vice to Virtue” https://enroutebooksandmedia.com/spiritualhusbands/).

Her other publications include “Medical Aspects of Addiction”; “The Roman Catholic Church and the Sexual Abuse of Minors by Priests and Religious in the United States and Canada: What Have We Learned? Where Are We Going?”; “Pornography, Electronic Media and Priestly Formation” in Homiletic and Pastoral Review. Her publications in Seminary Journal include: “Significant Markers of Human Maturation Applied to the Selection and Formation of Seminarians”; “The Discernment of a Priestly Vocation and the Expertise of Psychiatry and Psychology”; and “Internet Pornography and Priestly Formation: Medium and Content Collide with the Human Brain”.

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Fr. Denis Nakkeeran (August 2025), Homiletic & Pastoral Review. Click here to read the review.

TESTIMONIALS

“The homilies of Fr. Cush are a wonderful resource for deacons and priests as a starting point of thought and prayer for new homilies. They are also a good form of study for those religious and laity looking for deeper understandings of the liturgical Sunday 3-Year cycle readings.” – Kiki Latimer, author of Home for the Homily and host of WCAT Radio’s “The Catholic Bookworm”

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Father John P. Cush, STD, a priest of the Diocese of Brooklyn, is the Editor-in-Chief of Homiletic and Pastoral Review. Fr. Cush serves as a full-time Professor of Dogmatic and Fundamental Theology, Director of Seminarian Admissions and Recruitment, and Formation Advisor at Saint Joseph’s Seminary and College in New York. Before that, he served in parochial work and in full-time high school teaching in the Diocese of Brooklyn and had served as Academic Dean/Assistant Vice-Rector and Formation Advisor at the Pontifical North American College Rome, Italy. Fr. Cush has taught theology and Church History at the Pontifical Gregorian University, the Pontifical University of Saint Thomas Aquinas (the Angelicum), and the Pontifical University of the Holy Cross (Santa Croce), all in Rome, Italy.

Fr. Cush holds the pontifical doctorate in sacred theology (STD) from the Pontifical Gregorian University, Rome, Italy in the field of fundamental theology, He had also studied dogmatic theology at the Pontifical University of Saint Thomas Aquinas (the Angelicum), Rome, Italy, on the graduate level. Fr. Cush is the author of The How-to-Book of Theology (OSV Press, 2020) and Theology as Prayer: a Primer for Diocesan Priests (with Msgr. Walter Oxley), as well as being a contributor to the festschrift Intellect, Affect, and God (Marquette University Press, 2021). He is also the author of Nothing But You: Reflections on the Priesthood and Priestly Formation through the Lens of Bishop Robert Barron (Word on Fire, July 2024).

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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His first assignment was as Parochial Vicar at St. Augustine Parish in Lawrence, MA (1971-75). He then served as Vocation Director for the East Coast Augustinians (1975-79), and then Director of Students at Augustinian College in Washington., D.C. for the Augustinians who were preparing for Solemn Vows and/or Ordination. He returned to Lawrence as pastor of St. Augustine Parish (1984-93). He was the Vicar for the Lawrence Vicariate from 1991 to 1993. He then served as pastor of St. Nicholas of Tolentine Parish in Jamaica, New York (1993-97) and then pastor of St. Mary-Inmaculada Concepcion Parish in Lawrence (1997-2004). While pastor at St. Mary’s, the parish in 2001 was named one of the 300 excellent parishes in the country by The Parish Congregation Study team led by Paul Wilkes. On August 6, 2004 Father Waters became pastor of Our Lady of Good Counsel Parish in Methuen and Lawrence, a position which he held until June of 2008 when he became a member of the Campus Ministry team at Merrimack College in North Andover, MA. In August of 2014 he became Pastor of St. Augustine Parish in Philadelphia, a position he held until July 1, 2024. He is presently residing at St. Thomas Monastery at Villanova University.

He served as a member of the Council of Priests of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia and as Chaplain for the Philadelphia Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA). Before he came to Philadelphia, he was a member of the Board of Directors of the Mary Immaculate Health Care Services, a member of Cardinal Sean O’Malley’s Presbyteral Council in the Archdiocese of Boston, Chaplain of both the Ancient Order of Hibernians Division 8 and the Massachusetts State Chaplain for the Ancient Order of Hibernians. He was the former chaplain of the Lawrence Police Department, a past member of the Board of St. Anne Home in Methuen and a former member of the Board of Trustees of the Lawrence Public Library. He was named Irishman of the Year in 2004 by the Hibernians and named the Grand Marshall of Lawrence‘s 2006 St. Patrick Day Parade. In October of 2012 he received “The Catholic Leadership Award” from his alma mater, St. Anselm College. In March of 2014 he received “The Cardinal Cushing Award from the Ancient Order of Hibernians.

He has authored the eight published articles that comprise this book: “Spiritual Guidance in Family Settings” (The Priest, March 1981), “Marriage Preparation Comes Too Late” (Today’s Parish, Nov. /Dec. 1990), “Helping Couples Avoid Divorce” (Today’s Parish, April/May 1994), “Ministry of the Laity: Evangelization—Hearing the Word and Keeping It” (The Priest July, 2016.), “What the Bishop Never Told Us at Ordination” (The Priest June, 2018), “If Pope Francis Confuses People, He is in Good Company” (The Priest, March 2019),  “Christmas, a Holy Night, a Joyful Day—But is it a Glorious Season for Priests?” (The Priest, December 2023). “Why Wait ‘Till Marriage? It Is So Old Fashion!” (The Priest, January 2025)

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Making the Impossible Possible: It Is All About Who Is With You

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TESTIMONIALS

TBD

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Magnify Love: Unlocking the Heart of Jesus in Your Marriage and Your Life

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Paperback: $17.95 | Kindle: $9.99

TESTIMONIALS

“I often reflect on the encouraging reality that so long as we’re still breathing, there’s not yet a period at the end of our story. Nicole’s transparent and vulnerable sharing of how God worked in her life, and in her marriage, is a powerful testimony to His grace made perfect in our weakness, and of the reasons to always have hope.” – Father John Riccardo, ACTS XXIX Executive Director

“Nicole Berlucchi’s writing is a gift of the Spirit to anyone seeking to transform their marriage and deepen their walk with Jesus Christ. With disarming humility and profound faith, Nicole invites readers into her personal journey of suffering, redemption, and grace. This book is a treasure for those seeking to navigate the joys and struggles of marriage with the wisdom of the Rosary and the intercession of Mary. Whether you’re in a season of heartache or renewal, Nicole’s story and practical reflections will remind you that God’s plans for your life and marriage are nothing less than a miraculous love story. Prepare to be inspired, challenged, and deeply moved.” -Christopher Reed, Ph.D. author of Sacred Conversations: How God Wants us to Communicate

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Nicole Berlucchi is a writer and speaker. You can find her on her personal website: www.nicoleberlucchi.com and on social media: @berlucchiwriting. She serves as a regular contributor to www.CatholicMom.com and Diocesan.com (Gospel Reflections for 2025). She has occasionally contributed to other Catholic outlets such as SpiritualDirection.com and FamilyRosary.org. She is a proud member of the PraiseWriters Community as well as Catholic Writers Guild.

Nicole has worked in a number of roles in the nonprofit world from fundraising to research, but helping people realize their vision and make an impact, whether in business or in life, seems to be the sweet spot. She now owns her own marketing and nonprofit consulting business, Coley B. Creative, where she works with a variety of clients on their strategy and marketing needs.

Born and raised in Philadelphia, she has been married to her husband, Joe, since 2006. They now reside in the Nashville area with their four children where they are members of Catholic Church of the Nativity. She’s a big fan of brilliant skies, coffee, salted caramel with chocolate, books and more books. She loves sharing her journey with Jesus so that others might: Come and see.

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