Visit Jenny's Website at Create Soul Space

Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic’s Guide to Recognizing and Healing from Domestic Abuse

By Jenny duBay

In this book, Jenny duBay helps survivors of intimate partner violence identify their situation and begin to heal. With empathy and compassion, she covers such topics as what domestic abuse is, the trauma of sexual assault and coercion, verbal attacks and isolation, and the evils of manipulative control within intimate relationships. She also discusses details on what the Catholic Church teaches about personal dignity, sacramental marriages, and the nature of domestic abuse. Jenny reveals the impact intimate abuse has on targets, providing practical and Christ-centered ways heal—no matter where a survivor may be on her journey.  

For those who have had to leave their relationships, Jenny discusses the annulment process and what it truly means—including the immense healing it can provide. For individuals who hope reconciliation can happen, she thoroughly and compassionately discusses the possibility of abusers changing their ways, helping readers determine what authentic repentance looks like—and when so-called repentance is just another abuse tactic. Whether you’re still married or have had to separate yourself from a toxic relationship, Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns helps you navigate trauma while providing resources and gentle guidance toward Christ-centered healing and empowerment of our true self, as God created you to be.

Paperback: $19.95 | Kindle: $9.99

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TESTIMONIALS

“The Catechism observes that God’s original plan for marriage has been ‘seriously disturbed’ by sin (1608).  As a result, man and woman’s ‘mutual attraction, the Creator’s own gift, changed into a relationship of domination and lust’ (1607).  In Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic’s Guide to Recognizing and Healing from Domestic Abuse, Jenny duBay compassionately discusses the true nature of marriage while providing resources and hope for those who aren’t experiencing authentic companionship in their relationships. Drawing from the Catechism, the Theology of the Body, and various other trusted Catholic resources, Jenny opens the way to genuine healing for those seeking freedom from abusive relationships.” – Christopher West, Th.D., best-selling author, popular podcaster, and President, Theology of the Body Institute

“Jenny duBay has written a marvelous book, Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among the Thorns, that covers the topic of intimate partner abuse thoroughly and sensitively. As a survivor herself, she understands its deceitful trap, its traumatic impact as well as the courageous steps necessary to escape it. Significantly, her book addresses the problem from the point of view of the Christian faith. Jenny duBay plumbs the meaning of scripture and helps victims and survivors connect their faith with the evil they have experienced. She emphasizes the need for spiritual healing and guides the wounded along pathways to a new and regenerated life. Her book should be required reading for all parish ministers.” – Fr. Charles W. Dahm, O.P., Director of Archdiocese of Chicago Domestic Violence Outreach, from the “Foreword”

“Jenny duBay has created a tender wake-up call for wounded wives in abusive marriages. She brilliantly blends Holy scripture and church teachings with the truth around abuse in marriage. Her candid psychoeducation is balanced with gentle, directed encouragement toward spiritual truths that wives need to understand because so often misinformed church leaders and culture are teaching the opposite. She doesn’t skirt around the toughest of issues – sexual violence in marriage. Jenny’s heart for women to find their assertive spirit through Jesus and find empowerment to make choices based on safety is very clear. I highly recommend this book to any Catholic woman who is struggling to make sense of a confusing marriage.” – Bonny Logsdon Burns, Certified Partner Coach through the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists and co-host of Hope for Wives podcast.

“With candor and conciseness, Jenny duBay has written a book that brings clarity and practical wisdom for men and women who may find themselves stuck in the suffocating cycle of domestic abuse. I am certain that this compendium of insight into abuse, the Church’s teachings on marriage, and steps to escape such physical and mental violence will assist many in pursuing the respite they desperately need and in a manner that corresponds with the Church’s longstanding wisdom.” -Angela Erickson, host of the Integrated with Angela podcast

“In a caring and heartfelt manner, Jenny duBay has gifted us with a comprehensive book about intimate partner violence, from a Catholic perspective. She provides practical information and describes ways to recognize an unhealthy relationship and journey to a space of hope and healing for all harmed or who cause harm in this way. Also, it is a must-read for all those accompanying people on their path to live a safe and sacred life free of violence.” – Sharon O’Brien, Ph.D., Co-Founder and Executive Director of Catholics for Family Peace, Initiative of National Institute for the Family

“In ministry, we encounter women daily who are living in marriages characterized by manipulation, blame, coercion, denial and other forms of violence – emotional and spiritual as well as physical or sexual violence. These abusive experiences are a profound violation of our human dignity!  Intimate partner violence leaves women feeling confused, alone, filled with despair and even suicidal. We are grateful to Jenny duBay for writing this book. With a solidly Catholic voice, Jenny addresses the oft-underemphasized reality of domestic violence and spousal abuse within Catholic marriages. The truth, clarity and practical advice contained in this book make it an invaluable resource for those enduring such trauma, and for those of us walking alongside of God’s wounded daughters.” – De Yarrison, CPCC, foundress of You Are Made New Ministry and Laura Ercolino, foundress of Hope’s Garden

“Jenny duBay’s Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic’s Guide to Recognizing and Healing from Domestic Abuse is not simply a book, but a lifeline for those seeking healing, understanding, and hope in the context of the Catholic Faith. Throughout this work the author’s wisdom and empathy shine through each page, which results in the illumination of a definitive path towards the reclaiming of one’s dignity and becoming a survivor of abuse, especially abuse within the institution of marriage.” – Christina M. Sorrentino, author of Belonging to Christ: Catholic Poetry and contributor to Missio Dei’s book, The Eucharistic Revival Project

“Should Catholics stay in an abusive relationship? Jenny duBay answers this question with such clarity and heart in her book Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns. Comprehensive, practical and healing, this book is a must-read for anyone suffering from an abusive relationship. Coming from an expert and survivor of domestic abuse, the author will guide you as you seek to understand, forgive, move on and heal from the trauma of abuse. There is hope and healing even when all else seems lost.” – Jocelyn Soriano, author of various self-help and Catholic books including Mend My Broken Heart and 366 Days of Compassion, book reviewer, and writer of the Patheos column “Beloved”

“Jenny duBay is an author who writes with a deep understanding of God’s mercy, through which she hopes to communicate God’s love to others. She has a particular calling to provide healing to those who have suffered from domestic violence, and a desire to provide hope to those who feel forsaken. For any who are seeking inspiration or direction from the brokenness of life, I whole-heartedly endorse her writings. In her word’s, God’s love is waiting for you.” – Michael Snellen, founder of I AM Catholic and Catholic Creators

“Jenny duBay’s book Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic’s Guide to Recognizing and Healing from Domestic Abuse was the focus of a summer 2024 women’s book study in my parish. The group was initially 4 women but grew to 11 after advertising the study in the parish bulletin. The women attended for various reasons and all found the reading to be very informative, consoling, and hopeful. While the topic can be difficult to think and read about, Jenny presents it in a clear, compassionate way while incorporating the truths of Catholic teaching. Meaningful conversations came about during our group meetings that helped those on the path of healing. As a result, our group is considering doing this book study again soon to revisit and go deeper with the topic as well as to invite others who may not have been able to attend initially. I recommend any women’s or men’s groups to consider taking the time to read and discuss this book as a way to educate themselves and to shed light on a grave issue happening right in their own parishes.” – Kim Ferguson, Women’s Book Study Leader, Diocese of Lansing

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jenny duBay is an ICF-accredited trauma-informed Catholic life coach, certified Deconstructing Gaslighting Specialist (C-DGS), a certified narcissistic abuse specialist, and earned her B.A. in Catholic Theology from Holy Apostles College & Seminary and Catholic Distance University. In addition to her coaching ministry, Jenny is the foundress of Create Soul Space, a website designed to help cultivate awareness of domestic violence within a Catholic setting. Jenny is the domestic violence support group facilitator at Hope’s Garden, is associated with Catholics for Family Peace and works with various organizations within the Church to support survivors of domestic violence. Author of the Create Soul Space and Prodigal Parishioner blogs, Jenny also writes for Missio Dei along with various other Catholic publications including Dan Burke’s SpiritualDirection.com, Aleteia, and more. Her articles have been featured on the Catholic Education Resource Center and several have been awarded “Best of Catholic Blogging” by National Catholic Register. Her mission is to accompany Catholic women who have experienced domestic abuse or betrayal trauma so they can find healing, gain clarity and understanding, and reclaim their true selves. Her main website is https://jennydubay.com.  

(Photo credit: Brian Strickland)

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